I believe there is a light at the end of this rollercoaster ride. That one day I won't feel so fatigued and all the side effects along with that will be gone.
Why aren't I stuck in bed all day long? How do I keep getting up each morning, feeling totally unrefreshed as though I have not slept at all? On those really rough days, how do I not curl up into a ball and just cry out of pure desperation to feel better?
I just keep going. If I don't keep going, I will stop and become a blob in this world full of grief and sadness. I had too many younger years of that.
Yes, I blog about all the awesome active things I do. Do I WANT to do them everyday? Nope. I'd say 1/3 of the days I REALLY have to push myself to just do it. Some days my workouts are half assed - but I get up and do it. I'm constantly stiff and sore most days, but I know it's doing me more good than bad. My body is my machine, and I have no excuses now not to keep it in its best shape I can.
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| Seeing myself sleep (circa 2007) really makes me want to sleep |
No Excuses. I say that a lot. But it's been my motto for the last 8 years or so.
It applies to more than just no excuses for not exercising or making healthier eating choices.
It's about life choices. Sh#t happens sometimes. Sometimes you feel you're on the rollercoaster of life and you can't stop it from going forward.
You know that feeling.
I had that feeling signing my first mortgage papers (not with Husband), and I couldn't stop it. My life flashed before my eyes and it made me sad and sick (not happy and excited as your first house buying experience should be). I couldn't stop my hand from signing that paper. When the ride stopped...I felt SO alive - like I'd escaped that rollercoaster car that was going to fall off the track at any minute. I escaped, and thought - no more excuses. I was only pissed off when EVERYONE around me seemed to tell me they were glad that rollercoaster ride was over - WHY didn't anyone tell me to take a step off the platform at any given time? Why??
I went hang gliding a month later. Super awesome experience and so freeing!
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| Trip to Niagara with Husband in 2007 |
Life is too short for that kind of misery - and the excuses are just that. Excuses.
I just want others to be happy like I am - and not douse themselves in misery they can change (not easily or without challenge, but it can be done). My choices weren't always easy - I haven't been without challenges.
Life might not always go the way you planned, but you do have a Choose Your Adventure choice at each turn. Some roads are more difficult than others, but so rewarding at the end of the tunnel.
*****
Today, we made no excuses for a non-life altering morning. Husband and I went on a more technical Mountain bike trail, despite the fact that it was 10 degrees outside, sort of rainy, and just not a nice day. Within 5 minutes, Husband stopped his bike over some more difficult terrain, and I veered off the side to get to the other side of the path. I would of made it, had a large stick not embedded itself in my chain. The bike flipped forward and to the side. and I fell off in a pile of mud.
Two choices could be made. Getting mad and turning back (aka an excuse), or the alternative.
Despite the pain in my thigh (a 7" x 4" sized bruise on my left thigh and my shoulder being a bit bumped up), I laughed, Husband helped me up and took the stick out of my chain, and we pedalled on.
I fell, and I got back up. That's just what I do. I'm like a bulldog, and just keep on trekking through life. No one else is going to do it for you.
Then it started raining more. Okay, it poured. The rocks were getting slippery, and Husband couldn't see (he wears glasses).
This really was a good time to make an excuse. That whole safety thing.
We biked 3.5 km and 30 minutes.
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| Boo to cold weather for the day! |
It was AWESOME overall - I had so much fun, and haven't technically ridden my mountain bike in several years.
I can't wait for the next ride :)
Now for the settling in of my epic thigh bruise!
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