Hello, My Name is Crystal, and I suffer from Vestibular Migraines

Hey! 

I'm Crystal, and I pen the Sewing Unicorn. 

Beyond sewing, I'm usually up to crafting up something weird, like crocheting Star Wars characters, or making Fimo Clay Fairy Garden Creatures...you know, normal stuff someone who isn't quite 40 years old does. 

I paint murals throughout our home, and am also a champ at using a chop saw and drill. 

I'm not afraid to get dirty. 

I have a passion for our Rhodesian Ridgebacks, and am just about as nutty as our trio of parrots - Merlin, Stryder, and jerky Rosco. 

 

Merlin and I have been together more than half my life, and right now I am SO thankful I chose "quiet" non-ear-piercing parrots when I worked with them in the early 2000's. 

Little did I know that I'd start the awesomely scary journey over the last year. 

I had my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome down to an art. I could deal with it daily after 14 years. I didn't wish it upon anyone, but I made it through the fog cloud into making it through the day without collapsing or needing to nap in the car at lunch. 

Then shit hit the fan July 2017. 

I got a migraine. The pounding would not go away, and at day 4, I went to my doctor for relief. 

I don't go to the doctor unless necessary - not wanting to be a burden on the system. 

And I'd dealt with headaches on and off - with the ability to keep them at bay with Tylenol Migraine green capsule things. 

It didn't work this time. 

My doctor gave me a prescription pill for next time, however, advised it wouldn't work that day, as I had to take it within a few hours of when the pounding started. 

It was another 2-3 days before the throbbing went away. 

2 weeks later, I felt that pounding, and was able to hold off on another week of pain with that fancy new pill. 

Mid September, both of my legs started tingling at camp. By the next day, I was in pain and could barely walk. 

I spent that week, thankfully, working from home - my boss was super understanding, and would rather me be healthy, and knew I had the ability and independence to work on my own. 

I needed a cane to walk, and was alternating hot and cold - my legs were so swollen and tingly...it was pretty scary. 

A month later, as I was excitedly preparing for a Zombie Run taking place in Pembroke with a new friend, the same thing happened  - it took 2 weeks before I was fully recovered and walking semi-normally. 

And I lost that "friend," as despite giving a week's notice that I couldn't walk, let alone train for a run, that she had to go it alone. I felt awful that I had to let her down, but was rather frustrated that my week's notice wasn't enough. 

Anyone who knows me knows I don't bail on things unless it's truly warranted - especially when I pay for it (running races = paying entry fee). I'm frugal like that. 

Plus I really wanted to dress up like Snow White Zombie! And walk without pain and get rid of my supreme brain fog and slurred speech - yeah, that started happening too. And it wasn't from alcohol. 

At least I made a cool Hallowe'en costume out of that life event. 

You always have to see the positive out of a negative situation, right?!?!

November was okay with the occasional, "numb face," as I so lovingly refer to it - it feels like when your face is numb at the dentist. 

By December, I was getting numb face All f*n day long. 

I was napping at lunch.

My migraine pills were no longer effective - I had NO relief. 

I had vials of blood taken, and monthly visits with my family doctor at this point. 

By February, my symptom list had exploded. And my Doctor was afraid I might have Multiple Sclerosis. 

I couldn't breathe when he told me that. 

Then he sent me for an MRI for a brain and spinal scan. 

He wanted me to get a cellular level blood test, but I found out at the blood clinic that neither OHIP nor my work Employee Health plan covered it. A $500 test that could eliminate so many diseases, and prevent more years of bandaids to treat symptoms over the cause of my symptoms. 

So we waited on that test, and I opted for just the MRI, and if it proved inconclusive (or conclusive), I'd follow up with the cellular level testing. 

The month waiting for the results was pretty awful. My symptoms got worse, and I had to hold onto the walls in the office to get around. I started wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses - this full blown daily vertigo happened for 4 weeks straight before I requested to work from home full time until proper treatment ensued, and my symptoms stabilized from my rollercoaster state. 

I looked like the Unibomber, or a Celebrity hiding in the office with my horrible protective gear - they were rather useless in helping curb my symptoms. 

What are my "new normal," symptoms? Well, some of them are below, but there are more I haven't detailed as well:

- Dizziness 24 hours a day

- I feel like I'm on a swaying boat - I even sway while I'm standing upright - especially when I'm standing upright

- Disassociation - I feel like I'm here...but not really here - kind of like I'm floating from place to place

- Photophobia - light is NOT my friend - especially LED and fluorescent lights - they can instantly cause a pounding headache to go from bearable to nauseating in under a minute, and is the current bane of my existence - it has disabled me from my life as I knew it

- Misophonia - Sounds make me angry (ok I had this before, but it's linked to migraines as well) - I must control the sounds in my environment moreso now than ever

- Sore neck - not just a sore neck, but constant throbbing and pain - I can do my neck yoga 4 times a day, my physio stretches, and so on...the pain never leaves me

- Brain fog - forgetting simple words (even mid sentence), being in the middle of a task and forgetting what I'm doing, Having no idea what I'm doing - it's really scary at times.

- My arms will numb out - they'll get tingly - especially from my fingers to elbow

- Numb face - this happens especially if I'm stressed out or thinking too hard. Yes, thinking makes me worse *sigh*

- Weakness - my legs will give out on me without notice

- Nausea - goes along with when I have actual head pounding and/or vertigo

- Vertigo - you spin me right round wrong round

- "headaches," - I hate when people call my head pounding a "headache," - I wish it were JUST a headache. My head pounding lasts for days on end. If I don't catch it in time with anti-migraine medication, it can go on for a day or 7 days - it's awful.  I can usually grin and half assed bare it until day 3 or 4, when I need to tap out from screen time and life all together. My threshold only goes so long

- Head pounding ranges from pulsing, to a headband clamp, to hammering

- Heart palpations - my heart jumps around a lot sometimes and literally takes my breath away

- Driving...I can get from point a to b, but the LED lights from other cars and windy rounds can really start my vertigo up. Going to camp now, Husband drives and I put a hoodie on, close my eyes, and don't look. The view from the side of my eyes - fast movements - causes nausea and vertigo

- I can't watch anything rotating or fast moving on TV - and You Tube videos (you know, the ones where someone is taping themselves doing something) - the most recent one is why I'm on day...4 of pulsating migraine - nauseating I want to die under a rock day

- Fast movements set me off - like Husband will be cute and wiggle or dance, and I have to look away - I just can't 

- 24 hours a day Tinnitus (ear ringing)

- Fireworks in my vision

- Being social longer than an hour or two can trigger an "episode,"

- Severe depression - I've lost my unicorn, sparkle, and jazz hands

So needless to say, if I have one or two beers on the weekend, that's all the dizzy I can add onto my endless spinning plate. 

I'm alone all day. If Husband goes out after work, I'm alone at night (but his social life should suffer because of me, so I encourage it). 

I can't describe what's happened to me in ways that most people can understand. 

Before I started suffering from and was formally diagnosed with (last week) Chronic Migraines...I really didn't understand how someone with a migraine felt.

Albeit, I'd rather the occasional Migraine that lasts a week vs the daily annoyances that have turned my world upside down. 

I can't ride my bike, as I can't look to the side while pedaling - it makes me dizzier. 

I can't balance well enough for Downward Dog, a Plank, or Warrior 3. 

Before Migraines

I can't really handle social situations for long - a couple hours at the most before I really just want to nap. 

My face is constantly numb - the pressure really hurts a lot, and makes it harder to focus my eyes. 

I cry. A lot. I'm so frustrated, alone in my thoughts, and just waiting. Waiting to feel somewhat better. Waiting to stop rocking the boat. 

It takes me twice as long to do my work as it used to, as I'm trying to recall the steps I need to take to do my job properly.  An easy task can easily become cumbersome if I can't remember a process. And I can't really multi task very well at the moment - brain drain!

I can do things - at half the capacity of old-Crystal. 

I can walk one dog for half an hour at lunch time - when my head isn't pounding.

I spend less time online - thus more time with Husband and the boys (aka our zoo) - as working on the computer all day drains me due to having to focus twice as hard as normal.

I can sew for short periods of time. Only really long seams bother me. I also get confused by sewing instructions if they aren't 100% clear. I can sit looking at a step for 20 minutes that used to take me maybe 5 minutes to comprehend before. 

I prefer slothing around more. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't sit still and always have a project or two on the go. 

Walking into a normal store, office, commercial building...sets off my vertigo - they all have LED and fluorescent lighting that my brain just cannot compute properly, sending it into overload.  Grocery shopping, even with my Thermaspecs (which insurance didn't cover either...$200 out of my pocket for some relief for my eyes). 

Heck, even the doctors offices - my family doctor has fluorescent lighting, and he still insists on turning the light on after I turn it off in the little office. And the neurologist...they had wavy carpet patterns and fluorescent overhead lighting. In less than an hour I was ready to upchuck my lunch, and I couldn't want a straight line.  

I am back to reading paper books, as screens just drain me. 

I can do up to 30 minutes of extremely modified yoga. It's not pretty, but I need to do this daily, as I'm not walking most of the day. 

I work at home for now - the lighting in the office won't change, and my main trigger still hasn't changed. I like it some days, but it's really isolating. And depressing. But then I hear about the shenanigans in the office, and it sounds depressing, so I don't know which would be better at bringing my Unicorn back. 

I feel fortunate that I have the option to work from home (for now). Otherwise, I'd be off work. I wouldn't of survived much longer in the office. I cried in my car every day for several weeks before driving home. I couldn't take the enhanced symptoms while in the office. 

Who knew lighting would have such an effect on the brain??

I have pounding migraines 15-17 days of the month. The remaining days, I have the previously listed symptoms most of the time. 

I just met one of my two assigned Neurologists last week. He diagnosed my Chronic Migraines, and prescribed me an anti-migraine pill which I can only take up to twice a week, within an hour of feeling a pounding migraine coming on. So I have to gage early on if it's going to be a doozy level 8-9 migraine, or only a level 5. 

I'm also starting Beta Blockers. So far, 5 days in, I'm 5 days into a Migraine I tried to fend off early on and failed. 

These are for my "headache," and he couldn't confirm whether or not it would alleviate my boat swaying life. 

At first I thought the appointment went well...but the more I think about it...what about my imbalance? Dizziness? Tinnitus? Does putting my migraines at rest put these symptoms at rest too? He didn't know, and I don't know. A week in, and I'm just coming out of this last pounding nauseating episode. 

I meet him again in 3 months. 

I'm being referred to an actual Sleep Doctor as well, and meet my second Neurologist in January of 2019. 

I want my life back. 

I want to stop feeling dizzy. 

I want the pain to stop. 

I want to find my Unicorn, Jazz Hands, and Happiness again. 

I want to stop feeling so hopeless. 

Until then, I'll paste a fake smile on my face, and keep going as I always do. I just keep going. I can't let my health rule my life. I can't let it win. 

So, the next time someone says they are suffering from a migraine, empathize and don't downplay how they are feeling.  

If someone's walking like a drunkard into the office at 7am...maybe they are suffering from vertigo and imbalance. 

Or maybe they're just hung over. 

They could be suffering and trying to mask the pain. You just never know. 

Chronic Fatigue in Me - There is Hope

I know a lot of my Posts relate to products - I'm helping the little businesses get their name out there.  I know how difficult marketing is from my Crystal's Bird Toys days - word of mouth really DOES get the most repetitive business (or at least that's what I encountered).

This post in about My ongoing 12+ year battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Something the majority of people just brush off or laugh off.

I can't count the number of mainstream doctors I've seen.  I've seen one homoeopathic "doctor" (she was only a few years into it, but I saw a glimmer of hope with her treatments).  And one Naturopathic Doctor (ND) who really helped me progress beyond Zombie stage 3 years ago.

Every single one of my friends, my in-laws, and the car at lunch have all encountered Systic falling asleep on their couches, on chairs, on the floor, against walls, and probably other random places.

When I stop, I drop. Or at least I used to.

My ND, however, was not cheap. And as great as my employers' benefit plan is, beyond the actual visit fee, Naturopathic remedies are not covered. I could manage this when I ran CBT - but after I closed shop, it became very anxiety driven as to where the extra $200-$300 a month would come from.

So I went from monthly visits to every 3 months, then 4, and finally not at all. I stalled out, my memory began fading again, my constant dizziness returned, and my sleep cycle worsened.

It's not as bad as it was 3 years ago - I can work out daily, and am not a walking zombie. I don't feel I'm as grumpy as I used to be either.

I really do try to stay positive - like unicorns, sparkles, and Jazz Hands!

c/o play.google.com

Not stopping + positive thinking = better frame of mind.

Then my accident in September happened, and my mainstream doctor ignored me yet again (about my pain and injury totally unrelated to CFS), and I ended up in the emergency room two days later.

Husband once again asked his newish family doctor if he would take me on as a patient. Husband likes his doctor - he listens and seems to actually care. For Husband to recommend someone - they MUST be good!

I finally mustered up the energy to fill in the transfer paperwork, and eventually got it to the new doctor's office for the process to begin.

I'm at the point where I expect nothing from mainstream doctors. For my concerns to be brushed under the rug, like my last doctor who suggested warm milk and a boring book before bed.

I'm totally serious.

c/o hypervocal.com

I went to my first appointment the day after the last snowstorm.  I snowshoed part way to be more efficient.  And really, who doesn't want to snowshoe partway across town? It's what Canadians do, eh!

.  My first impression was "Wow!" as the nurse was personable, friendly, and made me giggle.

The nurses at my old office were always abrupt and never smiled - I appreciate that they are busy running a clinic, but making patients feel like more than just a number really goes a long way.

My new doctor's office is just him - no clinic with multiple doctors on the roster (I did have my own set doctor) with a walk in at the end of the day AND It's not an Appletree (which I don't think I ever saw the same doctor at).

I was in the reception room for 1 minute and then brought to a room in the back. I was in the room in the back for another minute before the doctor arrived.

So weird, right?  A doctor on time??

As this was the meet & greet appointment, I went through my history, and my main concern - my CFS.  He asked me questions, spoke about what he might be able to do for me, and set me up to get my blood work completed.

My last doctor didn't have my bloodwork done, and I was with her for at least 7 years.

8 vials of blood and 2 weeks later, I was sitting in his office again.

An action plan is now in motion!  Right then and there he administered my first monthly Vitamin B12 shot. And faxed over 3 prescriptions to the pharmacy.

I'm on a super weekly dose of Vitamin D (1 pill a week 10x the normal weekly amount), monthly Vitamin B12 shots, and Modafinil in the mornings (my keep me awake pills).

He was hesitant about the Modafinil, as he wanted to get me into the Sleep Clinic first - but they don't have any availability until July or August - this is a band aid fix until he can review the results of my sleep test.

I'm also going in to another specialist for my Thyroid this week - it's enlarged with a possible growth on it - the thing that irks me, is I recall at least 2 other doctors in the past years who have mentioned it seems enlarged. And they did nothing.

I honestly feel like crying, because for the first time in 12+ years, I'm not being ignored. There is an action plan in place. I don't feel like a number.

I don't feel like a number.

Wow.

So far, I feel like I can focus so much better, which is great, as I have my Risk Management exam next month and have had troubles really focusing and remembering what I'm studying and learning.

I feel less foggy in my brain.

I feel there is Hope.

I feel the girl pictured below pre-CFS can come to life again.  I also really miss that running shirt - It was so sweet!

Top Box October 2015 Kit

What is Topbox?

A monthly beauty subscription kit that allows you to test out products you may otherwise have no idea about.

For $12 a month plus shipping CAD, it's a steal.

Generally I get one full sized product, and 3-4 sample sized products.  Generally the samples are generous sized.

It ships out on the 15th of each month.

If you want to join, please send me an email for a secret code to let you jump the waiting line!

Token dog appreciating the Cardboard Tube that Topbox arrives in:

The items:

This month's kit included a variety of products, including something I was running out of (hand cream).

Make Up Forever
Smokey Extravagant Mascara
A precision mascara that adds colume, length, and curl.  This clump-free mascara delivers long-lasting wear in one stroke.  Using 4D technology, an exclusive microdefining wax complex envelopes the lash surface in ultrablack pigments for far-away impact and up-close precision.  The dual-purpose, cone-shaped brush has a precision tip that separates lashes as the rounded base creates extravagent volume from any distance.  
6.8ml $28 Available at all Sephora Stores, and Sephora.ca


This mascara went onto my lashes quite easily in two strokes per eye (this is important as I'm half asleep when I do my make up at 5:30 in the morning before work).  It was thick, but not so thick that it looked cakey.  It also passed the blink test - blink 3 times after application to see if any mascara gets on your face - you know what I mean, ladies.

There are comparables out there at a better price point - I'd even say one of the CoverGirl Lashblast Mascaras would be pretty comparable at 1/3 of the price.

Needless to say, I'm still looking forward to using this to its last drop.

Delectable
Ultra Nourishing Hand Cream
Indulge your hard working hands with a well-deserved treat.  Packed full of goodness, this ultra nourishing hand cream is enriched with ingredients to smooth, nourish, and rejeuvenate hand and cuticles.  Rich and never greasy.  Enjoy super smooth, soft and nourished hands.  
60ml $15  Available at Be-Delectable.com

I was almost out of hand cream when this arrived.  Yes, I realize I can use regular moisturizers, I just find hand creams provide that extra umph my hands and cuticles need - especially with this colder weather approaching!

I only required a small dollap of this hand cream for it to effectively cover my hands - the first thing I noticed was the smell - a nice light coconut smell.  Where was my Margarita? And Cabana Boy?

*sigh*

It was effective enough, and certainly not greasy.  I do, however, disinfect and wash my hands a lot at work, especially with the cold season upon us, so it also washed off, hence reapplication required several times a day or my fingers started doing that wrinkly "I'm cold and dry" thing they do.

I like the product, and I'm on the fence as to whether or not I'll purchase it.  There are similar options at a lower price point that would do just the same job.

Elizabeth Arden
Flawless Future Powered by CeramideTM Night Cream
Flawless Future Night Cream supports skin's nightime renewal process to help brighten and even skin tone, and ease the appearance process to help brighten and even skin tone, and ease the appearance of fine lines.  It features a stress busting, mineral-rich botanical and an exclusive fragrance technology that's clinically proven to induce a feeling of well-being and relaxation for a better night's sleep.  
50ml $66 Available at Hudson's Bay the TheBay.com

I have a difficult time liking Elizabeth Arden products.  I find they make my face dry (even if they are a moisturizer), and I don't see results.

This stays consistent with my normal stance.

It seems relatively unscented.  And really. It's me.  I REALLY doubt the aroma will help me fall asleep or stay asleep.  If it did, I'd invest money in Elizabeth Arden Stocks yesterday.

Emani
HD Bamboo Setting Powder
Seamlessly set your makeup and optimize light-reflexion on the skin.  Fine lines, wrinkles, and pores optically fade as skin is visibly smoothed.

That description is awesomesauce!

I took out my face brush, and swatted away at the Emani powder until it was lightly dusted.  Then started dusting my face.  At first swat, I was not impressed and all I could see was powder - the reason I got away from powdered foundation.

Then I continued blending it into my skin.  And could no longer see the powder.  Or my nose pores.  Or the redness of my cheeks, OR THE POWDER.

This stuff is pretty amazing, and I see it lasting quite awhile - Sold!

The Aftermath of Not Exercising

It's been almost 4 weeks since I've been able to work out.

I ran up the escalator on Friday to go get my coffee from the Tim Hortons at the food court before work, and felt my groin overstretch.  I sort of slowed down running, but I was almost at the top - SO CLOSE.

I walked slowly the rest of the way to and from coffee.

I just started walking slowly down the stairs sometimes at work (4 flights) - I just feel pressured to go faster if someone else is behind me, so I'd rather not feel that anxiety.

I've been walking the dogs again as well.  One at a time - mainly Gideon, as Fynn's sutures are still healing and I don't want HIM to pull his leg the wrong way if he sees a Trigger (dog, person, runner, bicyclist, squirrel...anything that moves). Fynn and I did our first walk, and it was awesome - he didn't get all upset at his normal triggers, but he sat whining softly, and we were lucky enough not to get cornered, so only had to turn around once (avoiding an oncoming dog).

I've avoided the hills on these walks, again, to avoid over stretching.

Besides not doing what I've grown to love and need over the last year, I feel like crap.

It's like my metabolism just stopped, and I had to buy a new pair of pants as the one of two that fit me decided to pop a seam (after 2 or 3 years of constant wear - so they had a long haul).

Pants shopping is SO depressing.  Even when I was younger, I've had an hour glass shape.  The part that I've been working so hard on was finally starting to see some improvement when my accident happened.  So I'm back in my biggest pants, had to buy a bigger pair than normal as I'm on a super strict budget and can't get Ricki's $60 pairs that are made for real women, and had to find a pair that didn't make my legs look like sausages or give me muffin top.

Pants shopping makes me feel out of shape, huge, and just gross.

I just want a no pants party.

I had lots of no pants parties as a kid.

And right now, other than starving myself, there's not a lot that I can do.

I have been feeling so Blarg and Meh.  I have no energy for anything. It's a trek just to stay up past 7pm. Seriously.  It's taking a toll on me physically and mentally.  I'm in the abyss of negative thinking and self doubt. It's not so great.

If I get 6 hours of non-consecutive sleep, it's a bonus.

I have little motivation to do much.  I don't feel like cleaning, cooking, or anything really.  I feel really stuck.

I've likely been a grump at work too (sorry co-workers)

I've even had Husband drive us to and from work several times as I haven't been able to stay awake and needed a nap to somewhat function.

The only positive is I've finished making my Halloween costume, started Husband's Halloween Costume, am planning an epic Murder Mystery Party for my Birthday next month, and have been able to finish making some of my xmas gifts (budget + crafty talents = making things people need vs buying them).

To me, the above isn't a lot for me - I normally cram pack in hobbies and activities to stay busy and happy.  I've been more of a slothy vegetable.

3 more weeks. 3 more weeks. I can do this, right?

I am SO looking forward to working out again. It will be SO awesome!  It will hurt so much!

Soon Shaun T can kick my behind again

The Naturopathic Doctor Visit

I know there is a LOT of controversy between seeing an Medical Practitioner vs a Naturopathic Doctor.  

I spent 10 years going from Mainstream Doctor to Mainstream Doctor.

I was told to:

- Drink Milk

- Read a boring book

- Get more sleep

- It's all in your head

- Here's some anti-depressants 

- Take another sleep test

- There's nothing wrong with you

...and so on.

I've been to 4 Sleep Clinics (one in the day), the Cardiopulmonary Specialist, Walk In Clincs, General Practitioners, Respiratory Therapists and more. 

I never felt comfortable enough or could remember enough of my symptoms in the 5 minutes mainstream doctors seem to have for a patient before they just stop listening.

I was on "keep me awake" pills for about 6 months. Then they stopped working, and I started falling asleep everywhere all over again.  What did the doctor do? Prescribed me the EXACT SAME PILL after it had been rejected by my body as a solution after 4 months! 

I met my first Homeopathic Healer then (she wasn't an ND - Naturopathic Doctor who requires the same extensive education as an MD), and saw my first glimpse of not feeling like crap. Then I moved back to Ottawa, and just floated by until I hit rock bottom again.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - your worst flu symptoms x 10.  

Where you fall asleep on your friend's couches on a regular basis in the middle of the day and can't remember your words halfway through a sentence (so embarrassing).  Heck  - I fell asleep last weekend on a friend's couch at about 8pm. I just couldn't keep my eyes open.  I woke up 2 hours later, drove home, and went right back to bed. 

I was sleeping because I couldn't stay awake...Husband had enough booze.

There's lots of pictures like the one above. Systic sleeping.

Me when I used the nickname Systic. Sweet 16.

Anyhow. I met my current ND about 2.5 years ago.  She specializes in treating Lyme disease and Mould induced illnesses (aka me).  Husband and I call her my Voo Doo Hoo Doo Doctor.  She's awesome, but whatever she does is weird. And it is slowly working (I tried to go cold turkey last summer, and ended up getting sick and regressed rapidly).

I have gone from walking Zombie to almost normal. Well, as normal as I can be (if you know me, you know I'll never be normal - ha ha).

Today I saw her for the first time in 4 months, as she felt I could go that long between visits.  It was every 1 or 2 months prior to that, so progress is being made!

The appointment starts with discussing how I'm feeling, what symptoms are quite evident, and my diet - food plays a big factor in that whole staying healthy thing.

I need more Protein (chicken, ground beef, etc.) at lunch time to avoid that lunch time slump I have between 1-3 pm. 

I lay on the examination table, put my left arm above my head on the pillow there, and she checks my heart rate and other things.  

I close my eyes, as it's too weird to keep them opened.

She has these plastic letters with different metal abbreviations on them and lightly throws them at my side - weird, right? I've never asked her why...it's JUST what she does.  Apparently where they land tells her what is stuck or elevated in my system, so she can formulate the proper supplements.

Then she pops a few homeopathic ball thingies in my mouth, and uses this laser thing on my ear.  This is to cleanse the crap out of my lymph nodes.  I LOVE this.  It feels like an Ear Orgasm running through my head.  That's the only way I can describe it. 

Then she sticks an acupuncture needle in my ear, as the laser isn't working well enough.  This just sends tingles throughout my body.  I don't know if I'd prefer this over massages, as I LOVE me my massage time!  It just feels awesome. 

She usually uses this cleansing time to grab whatever supplements she feels will help me.

I leave with a more effective Probiotic Powder, and a bottle of drops to help with my Cognitive Function as I'm having a lot of troubles remembering my words and keeping focused.  

Yeah. You know what you get covered by your Benefits for Medical Prescriptions?  Have you ever looked at how much you're saving?  For these two bottles of Supplements, I'm paying your prescription fees out of pocket, as Medical Benefits don't see Naturopathic Medicine as something that should be covered other than the visit itself (which I have to Claim for). 

It's NOT cheap to go this route, and it really sucks that my visits are clumped under the same benefits group as Chiropractor and Masseuse.  I gave up my Chiropractor this year so I can get massages, but probably won't get another massage until August because we just paid out-of-pocket for two supplements.

And she knows I'm on a budget, and would prescribe more, but it's not possible, and she's cool with that. 

I do still use a General Practitioner for one of my prescriptions (she checks my lymph nodes every time), and I totally believe in Vaccinating your kids (we shouldn't have outbreaks of diseases that were eradicated decades ago), and when I get Cancer (it runs on both sides of the family) I'll go mainstream and pray that I won't be ignored yet again.

It still terrifies me that I've had to fight to make no headway in 10 years, but have made so much progress in the last 2. Will Mainstream medicine be there for me and listen when it's something more life threatening?

Insanity Max 30 Month 2: Max Out Strength

This routine is similar to Month One's Tabata Strength.

But the moves are 45 seconds long with a 15 minute stretch "break" in-between.

Don't be fooled by "break" in the world of Shaun T - he doesn't really mean it.

Oh, but I'm sort of kind of starting to see some Rambo muscles going on. So his whip it attitude is doing something for me besides sweating gallons and cursing his very presence in my living room.

See...that little dent in the shoulder...it looks much better in person!

Back to hating on Shaun T (I love him, but I don't).

5 Minute Warm up - again, don't be fooled - you can Max Out in his warm ups!

None of the moves are repeated.

Split Plyo Lunge - Chair pose to alternating rear lunges - arms are up in the air the entire time

Plunge Plyo Squat - Chair to moving alternative side squats - arms go in and out with the move

2 Hop Squats - 2 Lunges - 2 Pulsing Squats, turn to side for 2 pulsing lunges - Alternate moves & sides

Hop Squat Lunge - Same as above, but only single pulses (no doubles)

Squat Thrust Lunge - Alternate single side lunge to centre, then squat with a thrust (aka tighten your behind) at the top - alternate lunge sides.

Squat Thrust - Squat with hands crossed at the front, stand up with a thrust and arms to the behind (kind of kinky!)

Push Up Jack Tap - Push up and tap alternate shoulder with hand at the top

Push Up Jack - In the modified version (aka me) - it's just a modified push up.

Plank Jack Push Up - Plank and side jacks - alternating legs

Plank Walk Push Ups - Push up and move alternating arm to side - similar to alternating push ups

Knee Push UP - Self explanatory, but a wider push up than the previous push up moves

8 Count Knee Push Up - Shaun T is a Jerk!  This move is self explanatory

Floor Switch Kicks - Lifting body like the top of triceps pushes, lift your butt off the ground - lift and kick alternating legs.  Similar to a standing swtich kick, just at a 90 degree angle.

Tricep Reach Kick - On your behind with legs bent, touch alternating foot with alternate hand.

Tricep Knee Taps - Tricep hold butt off ground, legs bent, and bring alternate knees to chest.

Tuck Extension - Start by laying on your back, come up and bring alternate knee to hand (meeting at the waist)

Floor Tuck Jumps - On your behind, hands on floor beside butt, knees bent and feet off the ground - these are like crunches, but pulsing very quickly.

Speed Knee and Ab - Head up and legs straight, bring hands to alternate knee in an oblique crunch

Tricep Push Up Jack - Plank and jack out alternating legs

Dive Push Up - On knees with hands close together, push up and hold at the top for a few seconds.

Lat Push Ups Alt - Body stays centred, but the hands move so you alternate push ups on either side

Knee Push Up Pulse - Low pulsing push ups - THE BURNING!

8 Count Knee Push Up - Slow knee push ups. Curse you, Shaun T!

Low Plank Hold - just that - knees off the ground, but low to ground.  SO difficult, but I did it!

Calorie Burn = Approximately 424 in 30 minutes.

One more work out in month 2 before they start repeating - I ought to be finished in 3-4 weeks or so, as sometimes biking gets in the way, or my CFS acts up, and I literally can't move and need a day off.

On a side note, as we're really making a conscious effort not to really drink alcohol, I find beer pint glasses make AWESOME water glasses for my workouts - they hold SO much more water than normal glasses!

Fake beer (aka Water)

And....CRASH

Too much after an exhausting week?

I think so.

I was nodding off driving TO work this morning.

And throughout the day.

I asked Husband to drive home as I didn't think I could make it home.

I napped 40 minutes on the way home.

Then crawled up to bed for another hour and a half.

I woke up, Husband ordered pizza (I'm way too tired to cook), and now I'm ready for bed again.

Now the fight to stay awake for at least 2 more hours.

I guarantee I'll wake up around 2 or 3 in the morning, it's a chain reaction - like not matching up the coloured candies in Candy Crush in time.

No working out or biking tonight.

This will be me tomorrow...because of my naps today, right?

I will have to stay positive that tomorrow will be a more awake day.

...what pills DID Jessie Spano take to keep her so excited? Hmmmm....

The Bike Goal ALMOST Met and Insanity Max 30 - Max Out Sweat - Review

It was a bit nipply out on Sunday - biking gear included long bike pants, long sleeved bike shirt, windbreaker, and wishing we'd brought ear warmers.

It wasn't quite as windy as Saturday, but it took a good 15-20 minutes for my ears to freeze off a bit.

It was also my first day biking with my clip on pedals and shoes.  I haven't used these in about a decade, so it was a bit of a learning curve.  After about 5 minutes, I finally had my first foot clipped in.  Then my second foot followed suit.

Then we decided to ride on the Parkway as it closes Sunday mornings to cars and is open for fitness gurus.  I realized I would have to unclip to go over the high curb (and didn't have the time or experience) and ended up calling for Husband to help before I fell, and ended up falling sideways with him barely catching me before I ended up on the ground.

Fall number two in the last few weeks - a few weeks ago I fell mountain biking passing Husband - it was awesome - my whole left thigh was black and purple all week long and is barely noticeable now.

War wounds and experience.

Our goal - to make it to the Aylmer Marina.  We almost made it too.  20 kms after our ride started, I heard a clang, and my bike's resistance starting becoming rather difficult.  We stopped a minute later, and it appeared that one of my spokes broke.  My wheel also wouldn't turn.

Crap.  We were stuck in Quebec 20 kms from our truck.  Less than 1km from the Marina.

Husband swiftly broke the spoke off and realized the rear brake was causing the now warped rim to rub against it.  Off came the brakes, and I rode the slightly wonky Speed bike back to the Truck.

We still made decent time - 21 kmh - we averaged 23 over the last week, so considering the rear wheel was not perfectly straight, I'd say that's a victory.

Wheel is now fixed, and we'll be ready to roll again tomorrow!  Nothing can stop me!

Because biking 40km is never enough, I needed to get in my Max 30 fix as well.

Insanity Max 30 - Max Out Sweat Review

This workout consists of 3 sets of 3 different exercises and 30 second water breaks after these sets have been completed.

- Power Move 1 - Speed In & Out Abs - Mountain climbers for modifier me!

- Plyo Hook Lunge - Backwards Lunge with alternating arm hook

- Wide In & Out Knee Tap -  A plank with knee and arm meeting in the middle on the same side

- Switch Kick Punch - a Switch kick with alternating arm punches

- Power Move 2 - Hit the Floor Tuck Jump - Alternating side lunges while touching the floor

- Ab Attack - Squat with standing oblique crunches at the side

- Burpee Punch - A burpee with a punch out at the bottom - alternating sides

- Knee Switch Kick - Lift knee up to belly like a switch kick, and alternate kicking at the top

- Power Move 3 - 4 Jab 4 Knee Punch - 4 punches followed by 2 alternating punches with high knees

- Wide Fly In & Out Abs - On hands and feet, bent over (this sounds kinky) with your butt in the air - alternate same hand and foot in the air

- Free Runner - Alternating Leg lunges up and down quickly

-- Moving Push Ups - My favourite type of push up!

- Power Move 4 - 360 Hop Squats - 1 minute of frog squats (pulsing squat with hands hitting the ground on the bottom)

- Slalom - It's like skiing in the living room!

- Plank Jack Tap - Plank alternating arms to shoulders

- Scissor "X" - Alternating forward-backward and up-side scissor moves with arms and legs

- Power Jump Dive - Legs wide and fall forward, moving hands two steps back, then stand up for a side oblique crunch - repeat

- Floor Sprints - Slow sprint low to the ground.

I was kind of disappointed at the end - Shaun T kept his shirt on the entire workout!

C'est la vie - can't see Shaun T all the time!

An alternate to Shaun T - he understands me...

Until next time :)  Live for today as we can't change the past.

Max 30 - Max Out Power (Month 2) Review

I didn't work out or bike for 2 days due to pure utter exhaustion from my 9-5 shift last week.

This shift literally kills any energy I might have.  I still go to bed and wake up at the same time, but I leave home an hour later than normal, spend on average an extra 30-45 minutes in traffic due to more congestion, and I'm falling asleep in the car before I even reach Bayshore (with another 20km to go).

I get home, and either have a quick snack before we go biking and eat LATE (i.e. 8pm or later), or I get home, and have to make dinner or we end up with hot dogs or go out as I'm too exhausted. I am done. I have issues staying up past 8pm these days.

I try to work out before leaving for work these days, but literally couldn't keep my eyes open or energy level up enough on Thursday or Friday.  I barely made it through those days at work.

My body does ok on a schedule.  Take that normal schedule away, and stick me in an exhausting situation in the morning, and that sets me up for failure. I'm a mess. My vertigo returns, I usually get sick as my immune system screws up, brain fog returns, and a slew of other CFS symptoms.  Dealing with rush hour traffic for an hour to get to work vs the normal 2 stop commute to Tim Hortons-drop off Husband-my work in 40 minutes does it to me.  I do not recover at all these weeks (every 4-5 weeks).

Saturday afternoon, after I'd recovered from our 40km morning bike ride, I was jonesing for a workout fix!

Welcome to Month 2, Insanity Max 30 - Max Out Power with Shaun T!

My Body is My Equipment.

This routine is like Month 1's Tabata Power, but the moves are 45 seconds each with 15 seconds "rest" in-between.

- Slap Jack Jump - Up/Back  - I definitely need more co-ordination for this move - it's like rubbing your belly and tapping your head at the same time.

- Slap Back Jump - Side/Side - This move was easier as it was side to side

- Low Squat Plunge - Up/Back - My burning thighs!!  I was stuck in low squats going up & down!

- Low Squat Pulse  - I spoke too soon, as this move burnt even more as the squats were low with a 2" pulse movement - 45 seconds of pure pulsing!

- Chair Hold - My thighs burnt on this hold after the low squats.  No pulsing, just holding a chair squat for 45 seconds.

- Plyo Push Up Jack  - Diamond push-ups switching to regular push ups

- Arm Jack Push Up - A pulse at the top of the push up - I felt better at push ups today (for now)

- Push Up Pop - This was a closer hand push up with a pop or jump of the arms at the top - great for shoulders!

- Step Out Push Up - Diagonal Push Ups - this is my favourite push up move.  Yes, I said favourite and push-up in the same sentence.  I'm now certifiable.

- Knee Plyo Push-Up - Regular push ups alternating with diamond push ups - fun!

- 4 Count Knee Push Up - ohhh the burning!

- Pike Up Extension - Pike plank into a superman with sideway arms.

- Wide Push Up Extension - Wide push up with a superman (with sideway arms) at the bottom

- Low Plank Pike Up - 45 seconds of sphinx plank while moving alternating legs to the side.

- Ski Down Abs - I love this move on my lower back - it was a great stretch.

- X-Abs - Definitely a good one to keep the core tight - extend arms & legs into an "x" while on your back, with head/neck off the ground

- Backstroke - A nice oblique move while moving your arms from above the head to side - similar to the backstroke.

- Burpee Lunge - That was as hellish as it sounds.

- Squat Lunge - Squats with alternating back lunges - ow!

- Frog Jump Burpees - Jump up with a burpee on the bottom

- Lunge Pulse - Owwwww!  Pulsing Lunges - 'nuff said!

- Wide Burpee Jump Suicide - Oh my hips!  Anything burpees = bad

- Iron Legs - Alternating back lunge topped off with a butt squeeze

This workout was completed in Modified Mode (don't dis' it - it's still tough - my joints can only take so much, and plyometric moves are not what my body can take), and burned about 439 calories.

30 minutes. 30 minute work outs.  They rock.  And I have no excuses.

May this upcoming week be super for all - treat every day as a new beginning, challenges and all.

Little Successes - The Fight with Jeans No More!

My pants test is to see whether or not I can get them past my big arse hips without unzipping them.

I have one pair of work pants (my "big" pants) that I can finally do this with again, and this week - my pair of "big jeans" came off without unzipping them!

"Big Jeans" 

My problem area - my hips, thighs, and behind. Thank you, Genetics!

These are the areas that are getting fit last.  So my pant legs are looking baggy, but I still can't squeeze into my smaller pants...YET!

I follow my progress based on measurements, fit, and my faerie tattoo - where is her wing and the dragonfly? The goal is to get them back to where they were before I lost my fitness motivation.

Hopefully I can fold these jeans up (and the other 3 in my current rotation) up in lieu of my smaller jeans collecting dust on the shelf within the next month or so.

Slowly but surely.

******************

I did miss 3 days in a row working out.  Once I can't remember why (yay brain fog), the following day was due to a bridal dress fitting for a wedding I'm in in August, and Friday I got home and Husband wanted to run errands - we didn't get home until after 9:30pm and I was spent.

So back right at it Saturday afternoon and again this morning.

I missed Shaun T, but I did NOT miss Tricep Curls.  They are my toughest move and one day I will finish them all without Maxing out!

This is ALL I can think about when my Triceps are screaming in agony:

Until my next workout and post. Take the little victories each day has to bring you and make each day better than the last!

Peace out!

My Longest Bike Ride - Ever!

So, the furthest I can remember biking is no more than 20 km in a round trip.  Really, it's all my awesome mountain bike and I could do on road or paved path trails.

When I lived in Port Credit (Mississauga), I would rollerblade once a summer with my friend Shea, from home to Union Station and beyond - about 25km.  But We would Go Train back home.  And there were lots of food carts around so we could fuel up along the way.  Why once a summer?  We forgot each year how achy our bodies felt the next few days thereafter.

Annual rollerblade trip to Union

I think I'm currently stronger than I have ever been thanks to discovering Tony and Shaun T (yes, preaching the Beachbody workouts AGAIN). But as I've mentioned before, my Mountain Bike...made me feel weak peddling away.  The first two weeks of biking, I could NOT catch up to Husband.  I felt so slow and unfit.

Now 4 weeks later, after struggling to barely make it 18 km, we did it.  We made it to the edge of Downtown Ottawa!

We used to see Moodie and Highway 417 as the end of the ride before turning around.  Like the pathway on the other side of Moodie was the Dead Zone full of Zombies and monsters that would slow us down and eat us for dinner.

One of our first goals with new speedy bikes was to make it past Britannia Beach on a weekend.  Now we can do that on a weeknight!

A few weeks ago, we struggled to make it to the Ottawa River Parkway Beach.

So our goal yesterday was unspoken, but one we had spoken about over the last 4 weeks since Speedy Road Bikes came home with us.

We kept riding past our normal turn around points...and it just happened.

We sat down on a bench outside the War Museum, fist pumped our success, had our granola bars and snuggled for a bit before deciding we had to venture back home.

We made it!!

We slowed down when we needed to catch our breath, sped back up when we'd recovered, and just zoned out.

It took us 1 hour and 4 minutes to get there, and only 1 hour and 11 minutes to return home.  Average speed was 22.2 km per hour.

Pretty good considering neither of us has ever biked that far.

The day after...my neck is slightly sore, my trigger thumb for the gears is a bit sore, but the rest of my body does not feel like it biked so far.  Boo-yah!  I must be doing something right.

And I slept the whole night through and even remember dreaming.  Most nights I wake up constantly, don't remember dreaming, and just give up sleeping part way through.

Maybe I'm finally on the road to recovery and finally defeating the CFS beast!

And now having a new goal - beyond 50 km!