I'm new to this whole blogging thing - people tend to have handles (aka code names) for themselves in blogs - so I'll be my 16 year old self - Systic.
Who knew 20 years ago I'd be rebooting myself to a better me? Who knew that life would constantly evolve and shift like a rollercoaster? Who knew being an adult was like this?
Me at 24 |
Almost 12 years ago I lived in an apartment off Lake Ontario in Port Credit, Mississauga, Ontario. This is where I began my journey into CFS - known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, with a touch of Fibromyalgia. It wasn't a bad building, the superintendents just did half assed repairs and maintenance.
Covering up issues (aka treating the symptoms) vs fixing the actual underlying cause.
I was healthy, and then I got a cold that wouldn't go away - the details of the symptoms are rather gross, and Merlin (my African Grey) still makes my gross sick sounds once in awhile as a reminder. Jerk.
Respiratory issues just wouldn't go away. I saw three doctors in 3 months. I was put on inhalers. I was sent to the Sleep Clinic. I was desperate and falling into the abyss of the unknown.
I went from active and healthy to a lethargy, body, and mind that squashed the person I was.I was 24 years old. I felt like I was 65 years old. My once quick brain was mush, my body which was active and full of life was intensely sore and fatigued. It literally happened overnight.
This is how I felt most days - this picture actually makes me jealous that I'm sleeping then - I need a nap! |
From my research, the cause of the onset of symptoms, and doctors analysis, it was determined to be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
What is that (I asked)? Hell (answered my body and mind).
The main symptoms are: Fatigue lasting over 6 months, Loss of memory, sore throat, enlarged lymph nodes, unexplained muscle pain, headaches, unrefreshing sleep, extreme exhaustion that lasts more than 24 hours after physical or mental exercise, brain fog, dizziness, visual disturbances, more depression than normal, mood swings, anciety, major sleep issues. I could go on - but I can't remember my symptoms half the time.
I honestly don't like complaining about it. I just deal with it. I keep super busy, or I fall asleep. Our friends used to know me for just crawling in a corner and falling asleep. I barely made it through the opening credits of movies.
When I stop, I drop.
I went from a 3.9 GPA in college with an active lifestyle size 2 body to not being able to remember my friends or familys names, remembering names of common objects, forgetting my thoughts mid sentence, napping wherever I could, literally catching 30 second naps at red lights while driving, feeling so much pain after a workout that I had to wait 2-3 days before I could work out (to feel the pain all over again), literally falling because I was so dizzy, I would wak up at the Witching hour every night (3am), to the size 10 body I ended up with in October 2014. And as you can tell, my thoughts are everywhere as my mind is constantly racing.
The mainstream doctors couldn't help me. Sleeping pills woke me up, the wake up pills they prescribed me made me sleep by noon; and drinking hot milk and reading a boring book was the final advice given by my lady doctor (who I just use for birth control pills now - may as well use some of those health tax dollars we pay every 2 weeks).
I was desperate after 10 years...so desperate. We even considered paying $6,000 for a sleep trial...but what if it was a scam?
So I started seeing a Chirpractor again for my pain. In his clinic, there was a Naturopathic Doctor (MD). I asked Husband what he thought about it - we agreed, I couldn't really do much worse. I was so done.
I started seeing her, and she just looked at me without me saying a word, and said she could help me. My lymph nodes were all inflamed, by endocrine system was so clogged with what she calls "bugs" - the mould spores. It started with probiotics and other vitamins/remedies; cutting out Gluten, Sugar, and Yeast; and monthly visits for the first 3 months. She said it would likely take 2-3 years to get rid of the crappy mould that was in my body (see above - apartment I moved out of had mould in it that I found when I moved out - it had been there probably a good 6 months - makes sense to me why I never recovered - it was in my lungs and body). She had successfully treated many mould cases when she lived in Vancouver (aka lots of rain = lots of buildings with mould).
Just over 2 years later, I am still recovering, but with many of my symptoms gone or 50% better. I tried to go cold turkey without my remedies and probiotics summer of 2014 - Husband told me to go back to my Whoodoo Voodoo Doctor, as whatever she was doing was helping me. I don't really know what she does. Whatever she does, It really does work. As per above, I tried to stop her treatments, and I went rather downhill over those months. I did NOT want to go back to that prison of floating over my life.
She's the only person who has listened to me. The only doctor who has helped me. I wouldn't wish this feeling of CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) on anyone. How I would describe it is: think of your worst sleep ever - you know, that day where 10 coffees don't help. Think of this day every day. For 12 years. Never feeling refreshed. Ever. It's not a normal unrefresh, but something I just can't describe to its full extent.
I think my only saving grace is that I've generally eaten relatively healthy and tried to exercise when I was able to.
So I'm finally on the road to recovery with my CFS.
That's part 1. Part 2 is my lack of exercise and how I started back up.
I'm a little bit Crazy! |
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